Monday, July 8, 2013
Hurting
I don’t like feeling inadequate. I don’t like perpetually feeling
embarrassed and ashamed of my many, MANY shortcomings and failings. I don’t
like being trapped in an endless cycle of discouragement and disappointment and
being unable to see any way out. And I really don’t like crying when others can
see me, especially about stupid pointless things, and particularly in front of people
who don’t really even know anything about me. I don’t like feeling the
overwhelming pain screaming I’m not good enough, I will never be good enough,
that the hurting is all purely my fault and there is nothing I can do about it. But the door appears closed tight and I can't find any way to open it.