The New Kid

Sanctuary

It may not look like much more than just a corner of a room, but it's my corner in my room, and so far has turned out to be a surprisingly inspiring nook for my "art studio".

As I continue to delve more deeply into my drawing and painting, I'm sure there will be tweaks made in the layout of the space, but so far it's working out nicely for me. The windows allow lots of natural light during the day, although I have full spectrum overhead lighting as well, with a pleasant view of the back yard. Between the two-drawer cabinet and the storage bin sitting on top if it, I have plenty of easily accessible storage for my art supplies. The small side bookcase (which I sanded and painted myself!) provides convenient access for my pencils, brushes, sketchbooks and reference materials. The chair is comfy, and the desk is adjustable in both height and tilt, and everything is within easy reach. Even though the space is small and minimalistic, I have to admit I'm enjoying having my own little creative sanctuary.

Perspective

Why is it sections of trail that I think look so intimidating from the bike always seem to end up appearing so easy and tame through the video camera lens?

Wordless

Air9

The bike I currently take on my greenway rides is a bit too small for me, so I've been in the market for a new hardtail that fits me a little better. As luck would have it, Niner was having a Demo Day at Lake Crabtree this morning. And since my favorite mountain bike of all time is a Niner - my precious Rip9 - I was excited to go test out their hardtail. They only had the Air9 in carbon available for demoing - the RDO - so I took it for a spin and, no surprise to anyone who knows how much I enjoy my Niner Rip9, I now have a Niner Air9 on order...

Bit by Bit

I've been approaching the New Light mountain bike trail in a piecemeal fashion in order to give myself small accomplishments instead of trying to face the entire challenging trail system all at once which would likely ensure complete discouragement. As such, for the past few months I've been working primarily on the bulk of Sig's Loop - minus the very beginning where Lake Downfall essentially merges into Sig's - starting at approximately the top of Razor Ridge and following the loop along to a bailout to the fire road just before Sig's crosses over into The Gauntlet. On this segment of trail, there are, if I recall correctly, about ten intimidating looking rock/log crossings, not including the multiple smaller routine logs that I can already fairly easily ride. Of these ten large obstacles, two are not yet on my to-do list as they are a bit above my current skill/confidence level. So that leaves eight that I've had on my list to try and accomplish this year. One of those I learned to ride a few months ago and another I learned a couple of weeks ago. Out of the six remaining rock/log crossings on my list to learn this summer, I attempted four this evening and surprised myself by easily cleaning all four. And as to the remaining two? I'm coming for you within the next couple of weeks, weather permitting.

I know it doesn't seem like much, but I am now and have always been very timid when it comes to technical mountain biking - and actually sports in general - so cleaning four new challenging obstacles in one evening is a big deal for me and frankly, I'm pleasantly surprised I was able to find the courage to do it.

Tired

I'm so...tired. It isn't any one thing; it's the thousands upon thousands of little things stabbing me in the heart day after day after day. I'm tired of all the bullshit. Tired of seeing how people act and realizing more and more lately that frankly I'd more often than not just prefer not being around humans. Tired of feeling like my whole life is spent trying desperately to swim upstream, and all for nothing. Tired of feeling lost and alone. I feel like I've lost myself. Or was I ever found at all? I can't pinpoint any rhyme or reason for feeling this way - from the outside my life is full and wonderful. I should be happy and thankful. But on the inside there is empty nothingness. And that just makes me feel more sad, knowing I should be filled with gratitude, not emptiness.

Increasingly, it seems there are only these precious pieces of my heart that keep me plodding through every day, surviving purely on my love for them: