Playground Politics

Some people can be so hateful and rude, and for no real apparent reason other than simply because they can. Just like the cowardly playground bully trying to feel like a "big man" by berating and minimizing the "dumb girl".  i am sick to death of putting forth every effort to be respectful and diplomatic, just to have it thrown back in my face via spiteful remarks and thinly veiled insults from so-called adults.  i dunno - maybe i'm just not cut out for this.

Mediocrity

Many people subscribe to the theory that anything is possible and with enough hard work and dedication, you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to achieve. If I may, I’d like to call BS (sorry, little Jimmy, I really don’t buy that old “anybody can be president if he or she tries hard enough” line). I believe most of us are born with a set limit of potential, and with a lot of work and effort, we can achieve that, but not really much more. There are some whose potential appears unlimited – my loving husband is one of those lucky few – but for many of us, the sky is, in fact, not the limit. We can only reach the much lower stars that manage to slip in under the glass ceiling. For me personally, right now my biggest and most difficult challenges are acceptance and understanding, and I’m working diligently to face them both head-on. I am learning to accept that my destiny is locked within that glass ceiling and my mediocrity is worthwhile in and of itself – after all, without incompetence how would we measure outstanding? Additionally I’m beginning to understand that accepting my own lack of talent is not giving up. Rather it is discovering freedom from the frustrating struggle to achieve potential I do not have when instead I could find some measure of success in finally putting my handprint on that glass ceiling of inadequacy and becoming comfortable with my own ineptitude. I realize, of course, this may all sound like nothing more than sour grapes from someone who has tasted failure far, far more often than she would like, and perhaps to some degree, it is. But on the other hand, maybe I’m just trampling those sour grapes into a palatable wine…

Be Here Now

We finally had an afternoon with temperatures below 90 degrees today, so I took advantage of the cooler air and headed out for a mountain bike ride – my first one in months. I was a bit nervous at the start since the last time I rode, everything seemed so difficult and stressful and within 20 minutes I ended up in so much knee pain I could barely walk for days. But this time my trepidation vanished within the first couple of pedal strokes. I’m not sure why, but for some reason today on the bike I felt free. The trail seemed easier, the logs smaller, the roots less jarring. Even the climbs, though still steep, felt shorter.  And for the first time in a long while I felt confident, strong and eager for the challenges of the trail’s natural obstacles. Today the bike simply flowed across the logs, winding through the trees, gliding over roots and rocks, all seemingly with no effort on my part at all. It was wonderful, exhilarating, liberating – I felt like a part of the trail itself; something I haven’t experienced in a very long time, not since very early in my 24-hour racing days many years ago. And while I can’t explain what happened out there today, I’m listening to that inner part of me saying don’t question why these things happen; rather simply enjoy and be here now.

It's Good to be the Queen - or King

Venus and Andy are delighted with their new cat treehouse and have each given it a four-paws-up approval rating. They alternate who gets to survey their kingdom from the highest throne,  and it looks like tonight the Queen rules the roost...

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to the man I love, my soulmate, my best friend, my husband. I love you more than you can imagine.

Truth

   I’m not your friend.  Oh, don’t get me wrong. We can chat and laugh together and for all outward appearances, get along just fine. But we’re not friends. We’re competitors, and that means you are the enemy. Every conversation, every word, every look, every gesture is little more than a method for me to discover your weaknesses. That pat on the back? Merely searching for a chink in your armor. Do not trust me. I will put forth every ounce of effort I can muster to destroy you, leaving your battered carcass rotting on the sports field – in return, I expect nothing less from you if you are to be considered a worthy adversary. Now you know.

10 Wonderful Years

Today marks 10 wonderful years that I've been married to the greatest guy in the world.  Happy Anniversary Honey - I Love You!! Photos of our visit to Currituck to celebrate are available Here