Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Tired

I'm so...tired. It isn't any one thing; it's the thousands upon thousands of little things stabbing me in the heart day after day after day. I'm tired of all the bullshit. Tired of seeing how people act and realizing more and more lately that frankly I'd more often than not just prefer not being around humans. Tired of feeling like my whole life is spent trying desperately to swim upstream, and all for nothing. Tired of feeling lost and alone. I feel like I've lost myself. Or was I ever found at all? I can't pinpoint any rhyme or reason for feeling this way - from the outside my life is full and wonderful. I should be happy and thankful. But on the inside there is empty nothingness. And that just makes me feel more sad, knowing I should be filled with gratitude, not emptiness.

Increasingly, it seems there are only these precious pieces of my heart that keep me plodding through every day, surviving purely on my love for them: